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20 Things to do in 2020

  1. Take a little time for yourself even if it is 30 minutes a day, make sure to take out a bit of time out each day just for you. As a wife, a mother it is so easy for our days, our lives to become about caring and doing for others that we forget about ourselves. Mama needs to be number 1 sometimes too. Sometimes this means a 5 am bath, and sometimes it means hiding in the bathroom to eat a candy bar without sharing. Just choose you a little bit every day.
  2. Stop apologizing to people for prioritizing your own mental health and well being. Boundaries are an important and vital part of life. Don’t apologize for setting them. It’s ok to cut the toxic relationships from your life to maintain your own sanity. It’s ok to choose you unapologetically.
  3. Find your people, your tribe. Everyone needs a few people who just get you. Your spirit animals, the ones who will wallow in the mud with you so you aren’t alone. You need them, find them.
  4. Take the vacation. Your only going to live this life once. You can save all the money you want and buy all the stuff with it but you can’t take that shit with you when you go. Memories are forever. Travel, take the damn vacation. Find a way to afford it.
  5. Hug the people you love a little tighter. Tell them you love them. Life is short and fast and sometimes unfair, so cherish the time you have with those you love. This blended family life has taught me that it’s all about making the most of the time you DO have together.
  6. Tell people to fuck off a bit more. It’s ok. I’ll admit it for you: a good “fuck you,”  feels good. So just do it. Just one of those times that you would usually hold back to the prick treating you like shit, just let the FU fly. It’s therapeutic.
  7. Eat the damn brownies. We live in a culture that is body image-obsessed. We never stop counting calories and trying out fad diets. Just STOP! Eat the freakin cupcake. It’s delicious and makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Spin it off later if you must, but eat exactly what you want every once in a while.
  8. Spread a little kindness. Leave a kind note on your bill to your waitress, you have no idea how much that could make their night. Hold the door open for a mom struggling with the baby on her hip. Help an elderly person load their groceries in the car. Make a more conscious effort to help those around you.
  9. Pay for the person behind you in line. Just do it.  It feels good to do and it feels great to be the guy behind you! Who knows the streak you could start! I promise you won’t go broke tossing an extra 10 or 20 out.
  10. Cross something off of your bucket list. Go for it. What are you waiting for? We’re all living on borrowed time. So LIVE.
  11. Forgive yourself. Whatever it is that you are carrying around that guilt for, let it go.  You can’t punish yourself forever for whatever it is. I mean you can, but it’s pointless. So stop.
  12. Go to the yoga class. I’m holding myself to this one this year. I say it all the time, but never do it because I am horrible at making time for me.  
  13. Go see some live music. I don’t care what anyone says, music is good for your soul. It’s therapeutic, it’s cleansing. It’s just a happy freaking feel-good time, so get your ass to a show somewhere this year. Big, small, it doesn’t matter. Just go.
  14. Pick up an old hobby. Find something you used to love but maybe phased out when you become a parent and pick it back up. For me, it’s writing and sketching. I’m doing this blog and loving it. I bought a cute journal. I’m committed to using it this year.
  15. Tip the bill. Do this once this year. It’s worth the splurge and the time saving the money to do this. Go out to eat this year and tip the bill. Pick a random server or maybe go sit in the section of someone you know personally. I promise you it will feel so good to make someone’s day like that unexpectedly. That gesture could Mean more than you know to someone. Be the reason someone’s faith in human kindness is restored.
  16. Volunteer. Volunteer your time somewhere this year that is important to you. Spend a couple of hours in your kid’s classroom or volunteer to hold babies at the hospital. I used to cook a meal once a year with my kids for the families at the Ronald McDonald House in Ann Arbor ( where I stayed when I had Lucas). In the past few years, our life has gotten so busy and I stopped making the time. This year I’m making the time. It’s an important cause to me and it’s important to me to have my kids involved in giving of themselves for others. I need to step up my game.
  17. Forget about organizing and start focusing on decluttering. Binge-watch a few episodes of Marie Kondo and you’ll be ready to rent a dumpster.  I started doing this in the spring when we started the addition. Figured I would make the most of the dumpsters in my driveway. I just started chucking shit out I had been hanging onto. Clothes, toys, trinkets, papers. De-clutter and consolidate, decide what you really need, then organize what’s left.
  18. Get rid of the toxicity in your life. Those relationships, etc. in your life that drag you down, suck your energy and are just overall not making you feel good need to go as well.  Clean house, set boundaries, buy some sage.
  19. Slow down. Life is short and it goes by so fast. Especially if you are blended and only getting half the time with your kiddos. Slow down and enjoy it, it’ll be over before you know it. For me, this means not overextending myself so much. I can’t do everything.
  20. Selfindulge at least once. It’s ok to spoil yourself once in awhile instead of everyone else. Buy that expensive pair of jeans that you keep telling yourself is too much. Eat the extra cupcake, get your hair done. Do something for you that you usually “rationalize” yourself out of. Tell your inner Karen to shut it, and indulge.

 

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